PAGEANTS, PAGEANTRY PESTILENCE (PART ONE)
By: Dinesh Chandrasena
It has been a while since I wrote as we all get busier, and basically life happens! It is not that the social escapades of the ‘wanna-be’ coterie have abated or eased, just that I, along with my intimate few had to keep our horror-filled shock, and ensuing laughter, to ourselves. So, here I go, with a topic which has, and still is, giving us immense fodder for amusement. Quizzical is the only way to describe how we view these shenanigans on display, highlighted, or should I say, “low lighted,” for all to unfortunately see!
Beauty pageants, like all pageants are not for the faint of heart. They are time consuming, scheduling wise completely grueling, and immensely costly for a participant. Whoever is brave enough to take the leap into the world of pageants also needs to have skin thicker than that of a crocodile hide, in order to face the continuous criticism which is sometimes thinly veiled as ‘feedback.’ Overall, the bravery of these people needs to be deeply admired as very few of us can face the spotlight the way they do. On the other side of the same coin, it is they who choose, as willing participants, to put themselves in the glaring lights of center stage while opening themselves up to the scrutiny that the spotlight brings with it. If you choose this path, should you not be ready to walk it?
The world of creative performance arts is very similar, in that they are all expected to ‘perform’ and are under the microscope for everything that they may do. Actors, actresses, singers, dancers etc. are constantly being guided and misguided into reimagining their directions, and creative countenance. A passion to stay the course, a zeal for one’s craft, and the ability to take the positive with the negative are just a few basics that make these careers palatable and even more importantly, livable. So, if one is prone to skin thinner than the finest chiffons, and sheerest tulle? Maybe these areas are not for you. Pageants? Definitely not.
We all have the parent who thinks we are the most gifted in some field, the aunt or uncle who thinks we are super smart, the cousin who thinks we are the most beautiful creation on earth, and the relative who may also think we are perfection personified. Now we all need to have the slightest level of sense to understand that these biased, and sometimes misguided notions are far, far far away from reality. This is by no means a reason to enter a beauty, or any pageant for that matter, assuming that what we were told as a child, is ‘carved in stone’ fact. Rose tinted glasses are usually worn by those who care for us, and their view of us, and our capabilities, are tinged in the same hue. Reality? I think not.
Everyone should look at the competition with a positive outlook and with the knowledge that one can, as much as the next person, win. At the same time, one also needs to gird oneself with the strength and fortitude to face the barrage of positive and negative opinions that are sure to be part of the arena. If the first sign of negative feedback, or the first iota of criticism sends the participant spiraling downwards into melancholia, this is certainly not the place to be. So, someone tells you that you are off with the choreography, so another person yells that you are standing in the wrong place, another says that your arm position is askew, while another points out that you are facing the wrong camera. So, what? Take the information, acknowledge it, use it, learn from it, and improve. It’s nothing personal when there are maybe 20 or more contestants, and all the professionals who are there are striving to make their area of the production seem flawless. If it is personal, which it also can be, that is part of this industry, and that personal animosity, venom, and vendetta is on them, and not a reflection of who you are, or your skills.
This is ultimately a test of you recognizing, knowing, and thriving in your own self-worth and most importantly self-confidence. If you are coming from a place of innate self-doubt, and the idea that ‘everyone is out to get you’, that is what you would subliminally project, and draw unto yourself. If, on the other hand one is blessed and equipped with confidence and the ability to see your own wonderful traits as unique to you, and that no one can ever be ‘you?’ Well, you are off to an excellent start. It is normal to feel the sting of rejection, to feel that you should be recognized more, or that you deserve better, but, like anything, it is always in the eyes, the hands, and the ultimate judgement of the beholder, and that we have very little or no control over.
How many of us have witnessed (me not so much as I avoid most such events like the plague!) or have heard of the tantrums caused by perceived grievances where contestants feel ‘wronged’ and decide they need to ‘right’ the situation in the most public way possible. From screaming, thrashing, to dashing and smashing, it’s like a scene from the vintage television show “the hulk’’, “mission impossible” and “s.w.a.t” rolled into one, where nothing and no one is safe, in the path of the scorned contestant. Parents, fiancés, lover’s past, present and future, along with benefactors, sugar daddies, prospective sugar daddies etc. get involved in defending the contestants’ right to the crown, and usually the hilarious mayhem that follows is much more entertaining than the predictable choreography, and lack luster performances seen during the show. So, with tears streaming, and mascara tracks streaking down their cheeks, the “wronged” contestant seeks the solace of ranting and raving to all those who would give ear, while plotting future more dastardly endeavors. The judges usually have the good sense to flee the scene of the soon to be perpetrated horrors, if not they too get pulled into the theatrics. The list of post crowning negatives unfortunately in many cases outweigh the wonderful spotlight which should be on the chosen winner.
In any area of competition, sense would dictate that there can be only one winner. We do live in times where many young people do assume that they are all winners, and also that no one deserves a higher placement in anything, except themselves. It is up to us, the older, and hopefully wiser, the parents the mentors and the guardians to teach by example that winning is not everything, and doing one’s best, shining in one’s own bright light, bringing a positive outcome for you, in that particular chapter is what is truly important, and a lesson to be cherished in good memory for a lifetime.
