A Crash Course in Speaking Kardashian
By Amaya Perera
Now, on a Saturday, you might be wondering why, of all the things happening in the world, we have suddenly decided to discuss Kardashian vocabulary. Surely there are better things to do. Important conversations to have. Books to read. Grass to touch. Reality television has always occupied a rather peculiar position in popular culture. Everybody claims not to watch it, yet somehow everybody knows what happened when Kim lost her diamond earring in Bora Bora. The Kardashians have an extraordinary talent for taking a word, a phrase or an otherwise unremarkable sentence and delivering it with such conviction that it becomes permanently attached to their collective identity. Their vocabulary has escaped Calabasas and entered group chats, TikTok captions, office conversations and the occasional argument between siblings who would rather die than admit they have anything in common with Kim and Kourtney. So, in the spirit of Saturday entertainment, family bonding and questionable educational priorities, here is a guide to speaking fluent Kardashian.
Bible: Because Apparently One Word Is Enough to Establish the Truth
In most families, proving that you're telling the truth requires an explanation, supporting evidence or, at the very least, a reasonably convincing facial expression. In the Kardashian household, it requires one word: "Bible." Frequently used throughout Keeping Up with the Kardashians, particularly among Kim, Kourtney and Khloé, the expression functions as a declaration of absolute honesty. If someone says "Bible", they are supposedly telling the truth, and everyone else is expected to accept that the matter has been settled.
Meaning: I swear I'm telling the truth. Kindly discontinue your investigation.
ABCDEFG: Kourtney Kardashian's Contribution to Conflict Resolution
During a conversation with Scott Disick on Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kourtney announced "ABCDEFG", explaining that it was a phrase she liked to use when she was finished speaking to someone. The logic was beautifully uncomplicated. She was done with the conversation, and the conversation was therefore done with her. What makes this particularly wonderful is that Kourtney delivered it with the composure of someone explaining an established philosophical principle. There was no suggestion that the other person might wish to continue speaking. Their participation was no longer relevant.
Meaning: This conversation has concluded. Your objections will not be entertained.
Okurrr: When Okay Simply Isn't Dramatic Enough
An ordinary person might respond to exciting news by saying "okay", "great" or perhaps "wonderful". Khloé Kardashian, however, has frequently preferred something with considerably more theatrical potential: "okurrr".
It is important to acknowledge that the Kardashians did not invent the expression. Its roots lie in Black and LGBTQ+ cultural spaces, including drag culture, and Cardi B also played a significant role in popularising it. Khloé's use of the term helped introduce it to another enormous television audience. The beauty of "okurrr" is that it transforms a completely functional two-syllable response into a miniature performance. Sometimes agreement is not enough. Sometimes agreement requires a soundtrack.
Meaning: Okay, but with considerably more personality than the situation requires.
Kim, There's People That Are Dying: A Masterclass in Perspective
Imagine being on holiday in Bora Bora, surrounded by turquoise water, beautiful scenery and the sort of luxury most people experience exclusively through hotel advertisements. Now imagine losing a diamond earring reportedly worth $75,000 in the ocean. Naturally, you would be upset. Kim Kardashian certainly was. During the now-legendary episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kim became distraught after losing the earring while swimming. Her sister Kourtney, evidently unmoved by the financial and emotional magnitude of the situation, responded with one of the most iconic reality-television remarks ever recorded: "Kim, there's people that are dying."
Meaning: Your crisis has been reviewed and found to be insufficiently catastrophic.
You're Doing Amazing, Sweetie: Kris Jenner's Parenting Philosophy
If there were an Olympic event for enthusiastic maternal encouragement, Kris Jenner would probably win gold, negotiate a sponsorship agreement and secure a reality-television deal about the experience. During an early episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris accompanied Kim to a Playboy photoshoot and proceeded to photograph her daughter while offering the now-famous encouragement, "You're doing amazing, sweetie." Today, the phrase has become the internet's favourite form of exaggerated encouragement. Managed to answer three emails? You're doing amazing, sweetie. Successfully reversed into a parking space? Incredible work. Remembered to drink water? Someone call Kris Jenner.
Meaning: I am disproportionately proud of your achievements, regardless of their actual significance.
You're the Least Exciting to Look At: When Sibling Arguments Become Personal
Sibling arguments have an extraordinary ability to escalate from practical disagreements into deeply personal attacks. Nobody understands this better than Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. During a dispute about scheduling a family photoshoot, Kim became frustrated with Kourtney's unwillingness to accommodate the arrangements and delivered the devastating assessment, "You're the least exciting to look at."
It was not particularly relevant to the scheduling problem. It did not resolve the disagreement. It was not even especially constructive criticism. But it was undeniably memorable. There is something almost impressive about the precision of the insult. Kim could have called her sister difficult, inconsiderate or unprofessional. Instead, she decided to evaluate Kourtney's visual appeal, as though the argument were taking place during a particularly hostile modelling audition.
Meaning: I have run out of reasonable arguments and will now attack your entire existence.
Momager: Kris Jenner's Corporate Job Title
Some people become managers. Others become mothers. Kris Jenner decided there was absolutely no reason she couldn't be both, preferably with a memorable title. "Momager", a combination of mother and manager, has become synonymous with Kris and her role overseeing the careers and business interests of her children.
Meaning: A mother who manages her children's careers and is probably already negotiating a deal while you are still introducing yourself.
Rise and Shine: Kylie Jenner's Three-Word Musical Career
In 2019, Kylie Jenner gave the internet a musical performance that required approximately three words and considerably less preparation than most recording artists would consider necessary. During a tour of her Kylie Cosmetics office, Kylie entered a room where her daughter Stormi was resting and sang "rise and shine" in an unexpectedly melodic voice. The internet responded as though an entirely new genre of music had been discovered. Within days, the clip had been remixed, imitated and circulated across social media. What was presumably intended as a routine maternal greeting became a viral phenomenon.
Meaning: Good morning, although apparently this now requires a recording contract.
You're Cute Jeans: Kendall Jenner's Brief Departure from Grammar
Not every iconic Kardashian-Jenner expression is the result of a carefully delivered insult or dramatic confrontation. Sometimes, the funniest moments occur when someone's brain appears to momentarily disconnect from their mouth. During an exchange with Kris Jenner, Kendall responded to a compliment about her jeans with the gloriously confusing words, "You're cute jeans." It was a sentence that contained familiar English words but arranged them in a way that raised several grammatical questions. And yet, somehow, everybody understood what she meant. The moment became a meme because it captured a universal experience: attempting to respond to a compliment while your brain is operating several seconds behind the conversation. There is also something reassuring about watching people who appear impossibly polished on magazine covers occasionally struggle with the same basic communication difficulties as the rest of us.
Meaning: Thank you. I appreciate your compliment. Please ignore the temporary collapse of my sentence structure.
Boundaries: The Kardashian Family Discovers Therapy Vocabulary
If the original Keeping Up with the Kardashians was the era of screaming matches and handbag incidents, Hulu's The Kardashians has increasingly become the era of boundaries, personal growth and emotional self-awareness. Kourtney, in particular, has frequently discussed the importance of setting boundaries with family members, especially when navigating difficult relationships and the pressures of filming. The concept itself is entirely legitimate. Healthy boundaries are important, particularly in complicated family dynamics. What makes the Kardashian version entertaining is the extraordinary amount of conflict that can arise from discussing them.
Meaning: I am protecting my peace, and we may now spend the next forty minutes arguing about it.
The Narrative: When Your Family Argument Has a Public Relations Department
Another expression that has become increasingly prominent in The Kardashians is "the narrative". For most people, a disagreement with a sibling remains a disagreement with a sibling. For the Kardashians, it can become a headline, a social-media controversy, a public statement and eventually a storyline requiring further clarification. The family frequently discusses how events are perceived by the public, how stories are presented and whether particular narratives accurately reflect their experiences. It is a fascinating reminder that the Kardashians do not simply participate in reality television. They exist within an elaborate relationship between personal experience, public perception and commercial storytelling. Even their arguments have audiences. Even their explanations require explanations.
Meaning: The version of events currently circulating on the internet, which may or may not be the version we would prefer.
So yes, it is Saturday, and yes, there are probably more productive things we could be doing than examining the vocabulary of a family that once turned a missing diamond earring into a global cultural reference. We could be reading philosophy, learning a language or engaging in meaningful intellectual pursuits. And if you still think this was a waste of time, well, ABCDEFG. Bible.
