As I mentioned last week when speaking about the snobbery we see in language and cuisine choices, it is unfortunately far from limited to those arenas. There are always the small-minded individuals who thrive on the “see-saw syndrome,” believing that for them to rise, someone else must fall. This is nothing more than a reflection of their own insecurities, their craving for validation, and their deep-seated desire to be accepted into societal strata they were never part of, and where they have no business aspiring to belong. How sad that the desire to be someone one is not, only ensures one will never truly become that person.
Education is a prime area where this superiority complex is alive and well. Some people operate under the misguided belief that being part of a particular school system makes one “better than the rest.” It is true that in the eras of ancient kingdoms, education was restricted to the nobility and clergy, usually limited to functional knowledge required in their fields. Farmers, workers, and the general population got by with spoken language, since literacy was not necessary for their daily lives. With the arrival of colonial powers, education evolved into a tool of leadership and influence. Aristocrats and local elites who ingratiated themselves with colonial rulers gained access to it and so began to assume superiority over others. The colonisers themselves reinforced this hierarchy, not only because they possessed different forms of knowledge, but also because they were “whiter.” Local leaders who imitated them contributed to a culture that diminished native languages, planting seeds for future ethno-political conflict.
Fast forward to the present, and educational snobbery still rears its head. Today we see people who believe that attending “Colombo schools” confers superiority, while those at “international schools” carry a supposedly different air. To be fair, these institutions do offer certain advantages, such as exposure to exhibitions, symposiums, sports facilities, and coaching staff. But the truth is that no school name or geographical location can hold back a hardworking student with the desire to achieve and thrive. I know many people who came from schools sneered at by the snobs, yet went on to build remarkable careers, achieve milestones, and lead fulfilling lives. Conversely, a lazy student who makes excuses, plays the blame game, and relies on parental influence will eventually stumble, regardless of whether they attended the most prestigious institutions. A name can open doors, but only work ethic ensures you can walk through them.
My sister and I both attended reputed Colombo schools, my niece a reputed international school, and all of us later had the privilege of overseas university education. Yet what determined our outcomes were not the names of the institutions, but the values instilled by our parents: discipline, perseverance, and the drive to progress. All the tutoring and mentoring in the world means little if one’s parents are ignorant of life’s lessons and instill a false sense of entitlement. Caroline Kennedy and her late brother JFK Jr. both worked extremely hard at school, and Caroline, even today, continues to shine in diplomacy and advocacy. As their mother, the exemplary Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, famously said: “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters very much.”
Another category of snobbery comes from the social climbers, those desperate to claw and crawl their way upward one slimy notch at a time. In their minds, the fastest route to “rise and shine” is by attaching themselves to people they think are already shining. These parasites convince themselves that sitting with “socially desirable” folks at functions, attending events with those who have “made it,” or walking a red carpet in Colombo somehow makes them important. The truth is that those genuinely from upper echelons of society rarely feel the need to flaunt their status at every free-drink event with a cameraman present. In fact, the truly secure often prefer to blend into the background when they do appear.
Let us also remember that Colombo is not Cannes, nor is it the Met Gala. Unfurling a red carpet at every restaurant launch, flower shop opening, or old school dance does not make one socially mobile. Spending hours at the salon bedecked in counterfeit “conflict diamonds,” flaunting fake designer handbags and massive logo belts only makes the desperation more obvious. No one is fooled. No one cares. A social climber remains exactly that. As the saying goes, the Maharani never worries about being seen or heard; she leaves that to the cacophony of palace concubines.
It is deeply unfortunate to see people mean-spiritedly elevating themselves through self-importance rooted in self-loathing, see-sawing their way into ever murkier waters. True grace is never loud. Those who inherit and embody compassion, kindness, humility, and the quiet security that allows others to shine will always be the real stars of any universe. They do not need a spotlight, because they shine naturally and effortlessly.
