In the not-so-distant past, turning 50 meant surrendering your wardrobe, covering up, and slipping your perfectly pedicured feet into ghastly-looking orthopaedic footwear. Deemed to have passed her “amuse-by” date, the middle-aged woman suddenly became a runner-up in the human race. Overcooked and therefore overlooked by the infamous “male gaze.”
Even for my generation, clinging to a low-cut dress, mini skirt, bikini, or sleeveless anything past the age of 50 risked being cast off into sartorial Siberia. The whispers of “Who does she think she is?” were constant, and it felt as though a visit to the House of Horrors might end with a job offer.
Until recently, the list of fashion faux pas for middle-aged women was as long as the head-to-toe cover-ups we were often expected to hide away in. There were endless rules about what we could and couldn’t wear. No plunging necklines, no short skirts, no visible upper arms. Women my age were expected to wear muted tones to match our muted voices, muted opinions, and the general expectation that we simply stay quiet. At the beach, we were expected to sport sturdy, orthopaedic bathing suits, as if preparing to swim the Channel like Gertrude Ederle. “Costume drama” no longer referred to a BBC series with codpieces or a half-naked Colin Firth diving into a pond as Mr. Darcy. It described a middle-aged woman who dared to bare in a two-piece swimsuit.
Why? Because for women, life seems to come in two acts, and the real challenge is surviving the intermission. Menopause, that horrible hormonal hell, is disorienting. I had my first hot flush recently and sweated so much I thought the Gestapo were trying to get a confession out of me.
It was truly horrifying, and I know it will only continue. But my older and wiser friends tell me that once you get through it, a sort of blissful contentment follows. I suspect that has a lot to do with no longer caring about the male gaze. Once you are wise enough to realise you would not want to be with a man who only wants you because you are wrinkle-free from tonsils to toenails, you finally stop caring.
But I digress. Where was I again? (Forgetfulness, yet another perk of the hormonal hurricane.) Yes, Colin Firth. But back to acting. Midlife women are finally taking centre stage in a variety of roles and representations. Not long ago, a middle-aged female lead was rarer than the Epstein files. All that supported an actress over 50 were her Spanx and her Wonderbra.
Until recently, the list of fashion faux pas for middle-aged women was as long as the head-to-toe cover-ups we were often expected to hide away in. There were endless rules about what we could and couldn’t wear
Today, television is being reshaped by strong, complex female leads. Take Kate Winslet’s role in the still-fabulous Mare of Easttown. She plays a tired, no-nonsense police detective managing a crumbling marriage, family struggles, and a high-pressure job. There is no time for Botox or blow-dries. Her wardrobe is all about comfort, often looking flame-retardant. Her character prioritises speed and practicality, whether it comes to food or fornication, washing it all down with a cold beer straight from the bottle. She is real, she is messy, and that is exactly what makes her compelling.
On the more glamorous end, there is the Sex and the City reboot, now in its third season as And Just Like That. Sadly, it is without Kim Cattrall, who perfected the older sexy woman vibe through Samantha. She was sharp-witted, sassy, and able to shrug off life’s adversities with a wink, a one-liner, and lashings of lip gloss. Seema seems to have picked up where Samantha left off, and her take on sexy is worth watching.
As for Sarah Jessica Parker’s Carrie, how does her quirky style evolve in her fifties? The fashion in And Just Like That still bears all the hallmarks of classic Carrie. She throws on a mad, whimsical accessory that only she could pull off. She makes even the edgiest, most difficult high fashion look effortless. Her signature style remains intact with clashing prints, vintage silk dresses, and ornate embroidered coats. Many outfits are pulled from the archives, a subtle nod to sustainability.
Despite all this, the reboot has received harsh criticism. Some fans are so disillusioned they have formed a whole subculture of “hate-watching” the show. “It turns out that when it comes to And Just Like That, hate-watching is a form of communal love. It is a safe and socially acceptable way to be highly critical of something and feel connected to others,” says Dr. Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, in O Magazine.
But surely, when it comes to how midlife women dress, there should only be one rule: that there are no rules. You can slum it in track pants and trainers or glam it up in glittery heels and a dress so flimsy you have seen more silk on a worm. As middle-aged women get prime-time roles, drive storylines, and bring complex narratives to life, audiences are being introduced to a richer range of role models. Which means, finally, when it comes to fashion, we can wear whatever we want. Why worry what anyone else thinks?
