Ever seen those girls, especially on TikTok, the ones with their perfectly curated morning routines, a 1.5 litre Stanley cup in hand, heading off to Pilates in a matching workout set at 6 am, sipping on an iced matcha? She looks like she has her life together, which is something we wish we could be on a Monday morning - hydrated, productive, and organised. She is That Girl.
And somehow, the world has collectively decided that being her is the new gold standard of existing. Here’s the problem: in trying to be That Girl, a whole generation seems to be losing track of who they actually are. It’s not about the Pilates or the matcha; it’s about the identity they sell. When aesthetics become identity, products stop serving a function and start selling a fantasy. In chasing her, we lose ourselves. It’s one thing to admire discipline and wellness. It’s another to let a water bottle decide your personality.
Who Is That Girl?
Originating on TikTok, That Girl started as an aesthetic, a trend presenting the world’s ideal version of self-optimisation and fashion movement. Glowing, perfectly dewy skin; no-makeup makeup looks; journaling; slicked-back hair; clean eating; neutral clothes; minimalist gold jewellery. As I said earlier, she is aesthetically perfect, disciplined, and inspirational. That Girl is not just a vibe; it has now become the standard of how one presents themselves visually for many young teenage girls. And let’s not forget about the boys, they have their own version, the It Boys. They are tall, soft-yet-confident, emotionally intelligent, hardworking guys who care about skincare and wellness - the kind of boys who dress smart and everyone either wants to be him or date him. But let’s leave them on the shelf for now, because That Girl remains the more dominant figure online, with the hashtag having over 2 billion views - roughly one-quarter of the world’s population, and this is just from TikTok alone. Now imagine adding Instagram and Pinterest into the mix. Is the world crazy, or are we being made crazy by brands?
Why We Want to Buy Her - And What We’re Really Chasing
Let’s be real. A few years ago, a water bottle was just a water bottle. Now? It’s a status symbol. Marketing used to be simple: “This lip balm hydrates your lips,” or “This bottle keeps your drinks cold.” Products were sold for their function. End of story. Now? Every product is a personality. A Stanley cup isn’t just a water bottle, it signals that you’re conscious, healthy, and glowing from the inside out. An iPad and Apple Pencil? That means you journal, colour-code your calendar, and create vision boards. You’re productive and disciplined. You’re becoming That Girl. Atomic Habits on your bedside table? It shows you prioritise growth.
Rare Beauty, Laneige, Glossier, they all promise the soft, effortless look that still somehow takes 30 minutes. Fashion follows the same logic with a neutral two-piece set and gold hoops. It’s not just about looking good, but signalling control and effortless discipline through a curated, minimalist wardrobe. But if it looks like you’ve got your life together, it’s worth it. Even smaller items, claw clips, planners, matcha kits, canvas totes - appear in curated Amazon “starter packs” under “essentials” to become her. Shopping today isn’t simply just buying a product but buying the building blocks to the identity it promises. It sells a feeling, a fantasy of being confident, accepted, and in control because “That Girl” isn’t just a person but the blueprint to success. We don’t buy stuff anymore. We buy identities. And the crazy part? We see through it, yet still do it anyway.
Why Are We Doing This to Ourselves?
Gen Z is known for being self-aware and even anti-capitalist, so why do we keep letting brands define us? The answer lies in the chaos surrounding us, climate anxiety and unstable economies create a messy, unpredictable world. In the chaotic world we live in, the pressure to have a personal brand both offline and online is extremely high due to social media, where everything we buy, from our clothes to what we eat, reflects who we are. The That Girl aesthetic offers an illusion of order, emotional stability and structure. We do not necessarily crave or even want to get up at 5 am every day or go for a jog for 60 minutes and drink celery juice that supposedly is good for your gut. What we actually crave is what the routine symbolises: control, balance and achievement. Essentially, it becomes a coping mechanism to help us feel temporarily grounded amid the mess, yet it doesn’t last for long. No product can cure anxiety. You don’t magically become confident by owning the same leggings as an influencer. You don’t solve your existential crisis by drinking chlorophyll water. At best, you feel a temporary high. At worst, you end up even more lost - exhausted from trying to keep up with a version of yourself that never existed to begin with.
The Real Cost of Becoming Her
The constant pressure to look put together all the time is a trap when self-improvement should make us feel better and not anxious because our morning routines do not consist of a cute pink yoga set. It becomes a loop: feel behind → buy product → feel better briefly → realise nothing’s changed → repeat. And it’s expensive - not just in money, but in time and energy. Because chasing That Girl is a full-time job, and we are not that jobless.
Rethinking What We’re Buying
What if we stopped chasing That Girl? The truth is, it’s not the perfect routine or aesthetic we really want - it’s what they promise. So, what if instead of being That Girl, we aimed to be this girl: the one who figures things out at her own pace. The one who doesn’t need a curated shelf to feel valid. The one who buys the product because it’s useful, not because it promises a fantasy. It’s time we stop aping what’s already out there and start shaping what we want to see. If you love your Stanley cup, no matter how practical it is, or enjoy plain neutral clothes and matcha, go for it. But do it because it makes you happy. Don’t try to copy That Girl just because you think she’s better than who you are. Knowing yourself and figuring things out at your own pace matters far more than following trends or fitting into an aesthetic. The irony is that the peace we seek through the That Girl lifestyle already lives within us, yet capitalism has found a way to sell it back to us - one product at a time. So next time a brand tries to sell you a version of yourself in a bottle, ask: do I want the bottle? Or do I want to be someone who needs that bottle to feel whole? There’s a difference. The key is knowing whether you’re buying the product or the fantasy it sells.
