Death is never the closure that anyone of us imagines or expects it to be. Even when the remains of a departed soul are consigned to the earth or turned to ashes as they wished, some of their legacies have a strange way of returning to wreak havoc and destroy the peace of those left behind. I am aware of many instances where the lack of a ‘will’ has caused many conflicts and irreparable rifts within close knit families. This is less so when a will is present, but it is never a guarantee.
A programme on BBC radio highlighted one such case recently which resulted in many people calling the radio station to share their experiences with regards to the wills and wishes of their dear departed and the problems they encountered while trying to honour them. The story on the radio was about ailing millionaire who passed away leaving a will. He had left all his wealth to two of his three daughters. The two daughters who benefitted from his will had been with him, cared for him, and visited him constantly in the last years leading up to his death. He had left nothing to his other daughter and her four children for the simple reason that they had not even bothered to visit him or even enquire after him for the last five to six years of his life. The disinherited, contested the ‘will’ in court, demanding a part of the fortune claiming that it was theirs by ‘right.’ This claim led to a lengthy investigation during which the executor of the will had to provide proof that the so called ‘will’ was written at a time when the deceased was ‘of sound mind.’ After many months of wrangling with solicitors and paying enormous legal bills, the case was summarily flung out of court! Incidents such as this have made me think about several similar issues that have occurred and are still ongoing within my own family and amongst friends and acquaintances as well.
I had a relative who passed away leaving a huge property and an estate which is being contested by her two sons, neither of whom is willing to backdown or give in. Each has their own version of what they say their mother wanted them to have but all there is as any evidence is a handwritten note with a fading signature which is meant to have been written by their mother on her deathbed. What is more upsetting is the fact that this lady, who was seriously ill for almost two years, did not have the sense to write a will and settle her affairs knowing full well that her death was inevitable. The conflict between the two sons will remain unresolved until one party backs down. This seems highly unlikely.
Another cousin passed away recently leaving behind a luxurious house in Colombo amongst many other properties which she owned in the UK. Her two children do not get on with each other. Fortunately, she had the sense to leave a will in the UK but did not think of doing so with regards to her property and assets in Sri Lanka. As neither of her children are Sri Lankan passport holders her assets remain frozen and inaccessible to them. Her beautiful house is locked up and left to the mercy of wood worms. The children remain unconcerned.
In another instance, children from a stepfather’s previous marriage had suddenly crept out of the woodwork to lay claim to a huge fortune which belongs to the widow. Fortunately, the couple concerned had already made it clear exactly how they wanted their wealth divided at the time of their demise. Lawyers had drawn up a document which stated that whatever they had brought into their union was separated and handed to their own children.
Yet, even with the cast iron guarantee of an attested will, the sole inheritor of the said fortune had to struggle of to prove that her mother’s fortune is hers and does not in any way belong to her stepfather’s children! The courts recognised the will and honoured it. Thus, preventing any further interventions from those who laid claim to a fortune that they had no connection to.
There is yet another cousin who has three large properties in Sri Lanka, he also has four houses that he owns in the UK. He is twice divorced and has one daughter whom he has officially disinherited. Unable to make up his mind about where he wants to settle down, he lives his life pondering what to do with his massive fortune. With his tendency to overthink everything, he will continue to procrastinate and will surely end his days without a writing a will. His lack of trust in his siblings, other members of his family, friends and anyone in authority, has increased his paranoia about being ‘played out’! There have been some random mentions of setting up a ‘Trust fund’ and there has also been some chatter about leaving all his wealth to a religious institution! But being the eternal sceptic ensures me that this will never happen. Ultimately, the beneficiaries of whatever he owns, will be his sisters (whom he admittedly cannot abide), the state or some savvy squatters! This proves to be a perfect case of a dog in a manger!
On a sadder note – there was a gracious woman who passed away recently after a prolonged illness. This kind and compassionate woman who was very well off, had identified a child whom she wanted to adopt and leave her property and wealth to. As her immediate family were leading affluent lives in countries such as Dubai, the USA and Australia, she did not see any reason to leave any of it to them. For as long as she was in good health, this unofficially adopted child enjoyed every comfort and the best education. The strong bond between the two was clearly visible and undeniable. The child had got accustomed to a particular lifestyle and was always deeply grateful to her benefactor. To cut a long story, the lack of a will has enabled this woman’s extended family to effectively erase this girl from what should have been hers had there been a legitimate will. Alas, this child who is now a teenager, has nothing except the memories of a promise that has been shattered by greed!
There may be people who think that leaving a will is not necessary knowing full well that their estate will inevitably pass on to their next of kin, which is fine. But if you are single, there is a possibility that the absence of a will may sometimes benefit relatives that you have had nothing whatsoever to do with, relatives you have hardly communicated with, or relatives whom you avoid and dislike intensely. There is also a trend of thought that a parent’s assets should be divided equally among members of a family. This would only be fair if all the children have contributed equally to looking after their parents in their old age or at times of difficulty and ill health. After all, why should one sibling get an equal share of a property when it is the other sibling who has done all they can (and spent their hard-earned money) for their parents?
There will be many a discussion about the pros and cons of leaving a will, however what is evident is the fact that the lack of one tends to open Pandora’s box. There have been instances when people have been forced to write a will much against their wishes. I know of one occasion where a woman shagged the bejesus out of a gormless man and got him to write out his large property to her children! The man’s family had no way of proving foul play even though the evidence was walking around in front of their eyes! There have been many betrayals of trust where someone abuses the “power of attorney” entrusted to them by proceeding to do what they please with a property and the valuable furniture therein. The rightful owner who lives and works abroad is rendered completely helpless in events such as this!
If there is a particular item that you would like to bestow on someone you love – this must be clarified in your will or handed to them before you die. If not, here is an example of what may happen - I had an aunt who owned a highly valuable neckless which she wanted given to her daughter-in-law. She mentioned this to her children and her extended family by saying publicly “this girl has done more for me in the short time that I have known her, than my own daughters.” Lo and behold – no sooner had she died the neckless in question, mysteriously disappeared! The daughter-in-law never saw the colour of it! A few years later, her younger daughter was seen wearing this neckless at an event in Colombo. Obviously, the lack of a ‘will’ had given her every right to claim it with authority. Greed invariably triumphs over honour.
There are those who show an enormous amount of concern for an old relative who is completely content living their life in solitude and isolation. Avaricious individuals are experts at homing in on untapped sources of wealth such as this. They are driven to being extra kind and helpful to the old and infirm with the hope of being able to lay claim to a fortune. This spurs on such people to encourage helpless relatives to write their wills. It is an unspoken agreement in which a vulnerable person is compelled into parting with their cash for care. Beware! Finally, we must all remember that even the little we have could benefit someone enormously, especially in such a volatile climate like the one we are living in now. Go to your lawyer, put it all down in writing and ensure that thy ‘will’ be done.
