Are you constantly ticking off to-do lists, chasing promotions, and striving for success, only to find yourself wondering, “Why don’t I feel fulfilled?” If so, it might be time to realize that the happiness you’re seeking isn’t hidden in these achievements. It’s not out there; it’s within you. On my podcast, I spoke with Michael James, a scholar of Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharishi’s teachings, about the constant pressure people feel to ‘do more’ - a pressure amplified by social media and advertising. He shared how Upadesa Saram, a spiritual text composed by Bhagavan, offers a powerful antidote to this mindset. The text challenges the modern assumption that happiness lies in endless striving. Instead, it gently reminds us that true happiness isn’t something we chase through action; it’s something we discover through simply being. James adds, “The central message of Upadesa Saram is that we cannot attain happiness by any number of actions, but only by being as we actually are.” At first, this struck me as radical, but the more I sat with it, the more it resonated deeply.
The Illusion of More
This idea reminded me of the book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz. Schwartz highlights that having too many choices can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and regret. The more options we have, the more we feel compelled to chase the next best thing, constantly believing that the next decision or purchase will bring us closer to happiness. James highlights this cyclical dissatisfaction of constantly trying to achieve something and feeling dissatisfied through a metaphor from the Upadesa Saram: “You can’t eat the same mango twice. Once you’ve eaten it, it’s gone. What remains is the seed, the vasana, the latent desire, that makes us fall back into the cycle of action again.” In psychological terms, this could also be explained as a ‘Hedonic Treadmill’, where one adapts quickly to new possessions or achievements, which makes them return to their baseline level of happiness and prompts them to chase the next achievement. Shreya Bohra, a counsellor in training, explains it well: “We often mistake happiness for the brief satisfaction of reaching a goal, from point A to point B, thus falling into the trap of hedonic adaptation. True fulfillment lies not in the destination, but in the journey, in the love, growth, and gratitude we experience along the way.”
From Doing to Being
But what does focusing on ‘being’ even mean?
In Upadesa Saram, Bhagavan emphasizes that ‘being’ doesn’t require us to abandon action altogether, but rather, to transform our actions through a shift in attitude and awareness. When actions are carried out without attachment to personal gain, out of love, devotion, or a sense of service, they purify the mind and soul.
This is the essence of Karma Yoga, where action becomes an expression of surrender rather than striving. Interestingly, modern research echoes this idea: engaging in work driven by a higher purpose, and cultivating mindfulness and gratitude, has been linked to improved mental health and greater overall well-being. Of course, all of this is easier said than done - the world still demands productivity. What I have learnt is that the Upadesa Saram does not teach us how to escape the world, but how to relate to it. We can still pursue goals, not out of a need for validation, but from a place of love and devotion. And in the midst of it all, we can pause, ground ourselves, and remember that the happiness we seek has always been within us.
Tips to Practice ‘Being’:
- Choose activities that bring you joy, rather than those driven by pressure or compulsion.
- Infuse compassion into everything you do, that’s how your actions stay aligned with your true self.
- Work without constantly seeking a reward. External validation may satisfy the ego, but it doesn’t nourish the soul.
- Give yourself permission to rest. You don’t need to be productive all the time.
- Make space each day for mindfulness, meditation, or quiet introspection.
- Most importantly, remember happiness isn’t something to be found out there, it already exists within you.
